A couple of days ago, I did an interview with Lokeish Umak, Editor-in-Chief at Lekh Magazine. He has allowed me to reproduce some of the interview here on my blog.
“The thoughts of Melisa on complex relationships are well-conceived in her book, The Complexities of Love. In this interview, she talked about her hard work behind the debut book and characters. Read more about her strategic thoughts on writing and finding inspiration to write the book.
In this interview, she talked about her hard work behind the debut book and characters. Read more about her strategic thoughts on writing and finding inspiration to write the book.
Melisa Quigley was born and raised in Victoria, Australia. She has an Associate Degree in Professional Writing and Editing from RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia. Her work has been published in anthologies in America, Australia, India, and the Philippines. The Complexities of Love, young adult coming-of-age romance, is her debut novel.
How did you get the word complexities out of love?
Melisa Quigley: Love is complex because when we love someone or are in a relationship, we need to look closer at the person we are with or want to be with and develop an understanding of them and their world. For example, when we are young, we learn about ourselves by looking at our world: mother, father, brother, sister, etc, and how we relate to each person in our family.
When we go to school, we develop relationships that can be complex because other children may be from different socio-economic backgrounds and have different beliefs and values than what we are used to. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted and will either conform through denial, self-doubt, or because they feel insecure. This is where relationships become complex.
Tell me why and how your character holds it so close to the title?
Melisa Quigley: Mark is a closet gay and hopes his family will never find out. Being gay in the 60s, and 70s, and decades before that was considered bad. Mark is insecure and walks through life as a teenager with his guard up. He doesn’t show his authentic self because he’s frightened about what everyone will think of him. Being gay and looking for someone else who is gay add to the complexity of dating and love.
His life is complex because when he goes out with Laura, he finds it hard to reciprocate her love because he’s gay. He doesn’t tell her he’s gay. Instead, he acts like a straight male so no one will know he is gay.
There are deep scars and wounding from Mark’s childhood with things that happen within his family nucleus. I won’t spoil it for you here. You’ll have to read the book to find out. Shame and guilt add to the complex nature of being gay and not willing to come out. Mark doesn’t know what he’s looking for because he didn’t see what he was trying to create when he was growing up. He had his parents – a male and a female, to guide him. Females and males pursued him along the way, and it’s how he deals with each situation that shows the complexity of each relationship.
What are your views on love and hate, and, are both needed in a relationship?
If a person is brought up in a family where the parents are always arguing, a child can grow up finding comfort in a love-hate relationship because in their eyes it is a way to express love. Experience has taught them that causing pain will bring their relationship closer. What they don’t realize is there are other ways for a relationship to work effectively. People like this need to learn to let go of what they gain from the conflict, e.g., always being right and work towards communicating openly and effectively. Love is needed in a relationship, not hate. If you’re in a relationship where there is a lot of hatred it conjures up feelings of being unworthy or unlovable and no one wants to feel like that.”
If you’re interested in reading more of the interview you can check it out here: https://lekh.co/insecurity-and-self-doubts-land-us-in-complex-relationships/